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August 6, 2012

Memories and their Irony

Out of boredom today afternoon, I went to my mailbox and started reading old mails. Yeah, my mind, like my closest friends, was warning in the background "Don't, girl! DON'T!"
But you know, dil hai ki maanta nahi!
So I went on reading the old mails. And chats.. One by one.

Some talked of regular stuff, some of assignments, some were filled with confessions, some written to my best friend, some mentioned the girly talks- the blue dress or the black one, some of sending new songs, some were formal letters, Resume, some showed how lucky I am to have some friends, some thank you notes, some unposted letters in drafts, some forwarded chats, some advertisements and so much more.

But between all these, I found a mail thread.
A thread which we both had sworn to never break.
A thread we had made each other promise to keep writing on..be it be even a single line!
We knew we'd never break it. We were both so addicted to it! We use to share every single thing on it. From those li'l how-was-your-day to see-this messages, from songs to pictures, from gossips to laughter, from friendship to love, from crushes to heartbreaks, from college to home- we shared everything. there.

The last I saw of that thread was on 21st Jan.

And then a message from me on March 3rd- "Thought of dropping you a line on this thread! :)"
The reply to that read- " :) :)"

And that was it.
THAT WAS IT!
That was it to that thread, to that promise, to that bond. And to the ever lost connection.

I didn't even want to analyze what went wrong or how it could have been better. I didn't know what to do. I was just too much absorbed by the realization that things have changed SO much.

I wanted some answers. Though, wasn’t in a state to ask questions.

I've been told that reading old mails is a strict NO. Especially, the ones which open up some wounds.
Now I know why!


It instantly reminded me of a status update by a friend-
"U r bored, u chk random thngs, u find an old e-mail, u read it only to realize things [ppl] chng so much, da scene is al fresh agn, u regret 4 savin it, u still dnt feel lyk deletin though!!
nvr knew smthngs cn bothr us so mch!
ArGhH!! smtymes preservin "memories" ain't a gud idea!"


All I could do that time was make myself a cup of black coffee and go and sit in the balcony.
And fate had it; it was raining beautifully that time.
Rains and memories have one hell of a connection.

I wept. And thought. And thought more.

For one thought, memories are the most wonderful things ever.
For another, nothing hurts more than them.


18 comments:

  1. Aww dear!..it's better to muster up some courage..and delete such memories once and for all..because..no matter how good they seem in head..what we actually have in our hands is the present! :)

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    1. Thanks a lot Aditi for these words. Totally concur with them! :)

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  2. Damn sweet.. nicely written Pri :) *hug*

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    1. Hey Jay! This was such a surprise! :D
      Thanks a tonne! :)*hug*

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  3. Priyanka, I go thru this happy sad feeeling once in a while....
    Things have changed so much, lets not reach he conclusion of goood or bad, bt te surely have changed n so hv the people wo were once the most dearest part of our life bt as they say the show must go on n it goes on....
    U hv poured ur heart out n it reflects d bitter truth of life....
    Awesome stufff... Loved it n u made me wipe:-)

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    1. Khushboo, I know this must have revived a lot of memories for you too. Bitter truth surely it is. But we have to live with it!
      Nevertheless, thanks a lot, a lot.. :) :)

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  4. actually, its good to move on!
    and if things have never gone wrong and its just because of distances..make a call now!
    lovely the blog is! :)

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    1. Unfortunately, it's beyond distances and my reach now!
      Anyway, thanks a lot Garima! :) :)

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  5. I love the way you write girl,feelings unleashed.

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  6. Shit happens. Friends come..friends go..Best ones remain...! And surprisingly or not so surprisingly...we realise the 'Best' ones when the 'supposed' best ones are gone! That is why..only u arent lucky if u have hundreds of friends..having even handful or one...true friends..makes one special!!

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    1. "we realize the 'Best' ones when the 'supposed' best ones are gone!"
      So true. Life and it's way of teaching lessons, that is!
      :)

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  7. We always make plans of future in our present! :) Surprisingly, very few of those promises are kept.. Tells us who we are, who matter, to whom we matter!
    Amazingly written, just as every other article on your blog! :)
    Keep up the writing alwaaays! :)
    Good luck!

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    1. Truly, that's the mistake we learn from. (Making plans of future in our present)
      Nevertheless, blessings in disguise these lessons are. And learning is a never ending process! :)

      And thank you sooo much Aditi! Means a lot! :))

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  8. Holy shit..!
    I just thought of checking your blog again and here I'm, stuck in reading every single post..!!
    And seriously, you got me this time. It's too beautiful to comment on it. And this sort of 'memories' have their own Beauty.

    PS: If you don't mind, I would love to use some of those lines.

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    1. Yay! :D
      It's so good to read such a feedback. You know, I believe, the best words are those which leave the reader speechless yet trigger their thinking process. :)

      Definitely. These memories are wonderful. They make you feel your emotions and more importantly take you a step closer to yourself.

      Thank you so much for reading and taking out the time to comment on the posts! Means a lot! :)

      With credits? Yeah sure! :P
      Let me know where you use them. :)

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