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April 9, 2012

Agitation and a li'l more

I heard the doorbell ring. And then a familiar voice followed.
Before I could ask my mum about whom it was on the door, my room's door was pushed and opened wildly.
There she stood. Clueless and blank. Also, being sorry about not knocking and just invading in like that. Though, I was seeing her after a long time, I exactly knew what she needed at that moment. She wasn't here today to share a cup of caffeine or to understand some Economics concepts. I stood up clearing all the book mess I had scattered around myself and immediately hugged her.


She again picked up her phone, checked it and furiously kept it back. It was 11:38 am and her phone hadn't rung still. Her eyes-half in sleep, half in anticipation had seen 8:24 am on the mobile phone's watch like centuries back.
Forget listening to the ringtone, the phone hadn't even beeped with a text either!
She realized that she had forgotten to thank God for this morning but still decided against it.
She raged with anger and some more frustration. It was the third consecutive morning and maybe one of the many more such mornings from the past.
But last night, she had promised to herself that she won't bother now.
But what about 'the' promises?
What about 'the' dreams?
Where is my part of happiness that was overflowing before some months?
More than anything else, what about my genuine expectations at this moment?
Bang! Bang! Bang! Boom!
Her mind reverted. Rather, her heart. and badly enough to moisten her eyes and then make those tears fall at an increasing speed.
She is a real strong girl and I could see right through that she had held herself together for long now. She was lonely, had nobody to talk to, to share her deep-seated feelings and fears with. Why? Then of course, with him being around, she didn't need anybody else. I too never complained to her that I missed our nonstop chit chat sessions or the time we spent in the balcony or on the terrace. She was happy in her new world and I just let it be like that. I recollected myself and realized we had more important issues to deal with. I looked at her and she looked back.
But what about today? What about now?
6 hours into his morning and 4 into mine, still he doesn't bother to make me feel this morning!

She brushed aside all these thoughts, painfully though, but realized and well, that she had a day to win.
The ice cubes in her favorite black grapes juice had melted and made the juice reach the glass brim. She knew if she picked it up, she'll have to handle it with utmost care.
She didn't touch those parathas or even the salty banana chips. Even my mum knew that this was the best breakfast she could have asked for. Still she didn't feel like eating.
Perhaps, the parathas and the black grape juice were not the only things that had lost their charm that day.

10 comments:

  1. Earth and rain; simplicity and passion :D

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  2. nice one.luved the way you ended.
    keep going!
    :)

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    1. Thanks a lot Nancy, specially for the special mention! :D
      :)

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  3. Beautifully expressed...keep it up

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    1. It's so good to see a stranger's feedback. Thanks a lot Noopur. :D Keep visiting! :)

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