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Showing posts with label Lost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lost. Show all posts

March 24, 2015

Time After Time


There was dryness in the air. The colors of the flowers were lost. 

The jackets were packed and a final goodbye was made.

The winter was over. 

And before she could know, the sun started blazing!

Now, the sun would be blamed for all the tiffs. 

She couldn't help, but wonder if she was responsible for not noticing it enough..



However, it was over.

She couldn't help, but wonder if she was the only person who missed feeling spring this season...


July 20, 2013

Marine Drive (The flip side.)

[Read the first part, the girl's words - here. 
These words are from the guy of the same story. Co -authored by a very very dear friend.]


You hugged me. The hug seemed like it was all over, like it was the last one that I'd ever get from you. I sensed it was all falling apart. You had started walking away. I gathered all the courage I could and called out your name.
The Marine Drive suddenly got a lot more freezing. Shivering breezes started flowing around, and you froze right at your spot, however, not ready to turn around.
I ran to you, walked close and held on to your hand. 

I couldn't voice the words that the heart yearned to say -"Wait! Don't just walk out on me. Please?"
I just stood there, holding your hand, unable to utter a word still; looking into your eyes in a hope that you'd read mine.

Every day I wake up to your text, that one message which wishes me a Good Morning.
Today, I felt like I was missing something, missing a part of me perhaps.. It was that one message I was missing. Your message.
It felt incomplete. I felt completely lost.

Yesterday, it all just slipped away and I may have lost my control but I couldn't just tell you what I felt. I kept asking myself; whether I was too harsh on you, if I was right to be mad at you and not reply to your continuous texts and calls.
But, I was angry. It was not a petty issue. Maybe it was negligible for you; but for me, it was much more. I still can't just find a way to let you know how much I care for you. I just hope you'll understand. I know that I've hurt you, I shouldn't have over reacted.
But, sweetheart, I am sorry.. I really am!

Even I miss your nonstop chatter. I miss the way you make me listen to your endless random stories. I miss you pause when I react to some of your stories. And, I miss your chuckle at my "Ohh ho!".
Yes, I miss the nonstop texting I had.
I miss us both asking random and, sometimes, stupid questions; but answering all of them.
I miss...well, You.
In a matter of just one day! Amusing, this attachment!

I look at you. Again.. And somehow feel, that I shouldn't leave you on your own, not today..
Perhaps, you just need this cajoling. Maybe, you want me to make you talk.
I feel like if I don't try today, this would just add up to my regrets all the more.
I feel like if I don't make you stay today, I'd be pushing you away a lot more.

I give you a hug and whisper in your ears.
Even a midst all the noise around us — of the vendors, of the traffic, of the people — we both have found our own solace in each other's arms.

I do look up at the sky only to smile at it.
Alas! I am killing my ego, one day at a time.


February 6, 2013

A perpetual conversation


She couldn't go to the bed with a heavy heart. Her heart and brain were conversing so loud that she had to write it down. She picked up her new 2013 diary and scribbled along...


20th January 2013.
00:44 hours

Right now, I don't want to tell you how good this day was. I know I am one lazy ass.
I am grateful for today.
But, my heart is heavy and I can't really conclude the reason/s. I just had a chat with him on WhatsApp. I hate to admit this but he's one person I cannot stay mad at.
He was pissing me off with every next statement of his but I still continued the chat.
It's rude to hang up on somebody, no? Besides, his opinions really matter to me.
Then why does he has to say things that hurt me??
Argghh! I want to punch him, hold his collar and ask him what does he want!!
He can't talk straight to me ever? For once, tell me things sweetly? I wonder does he even has that side?!
Oh of course he does! Haven't you seen him when he gets all protective and caring for you? 

Whatever! You please don't consider his once-in-a-lifetime-gestures an achievement!
He must be concerned and worried himself...
Stop it girl! This angel voice is irritating me all the more!
*Silence*



The anger slowly turned into anguish.
I don't know what and how much I mean to him. I don't even know why it's bothering me so much. Or that why he means this much to me. I cannot even say things that confidently as he could say about me. How do I find it out after all?

But, he has been there!

Or maybe I've always dragged him along?
Or maybe I've always lived with this illusion?


I don't know!
I don't knowwwwww!!!
All this is so irritating. I don't even know what's irritating me exactly!
And that's more irritating! Damn!!

I want to know! 

I want to know what's with me and this mystery regarding him.
I. want. to. know.