A perpetual conversation

She couldn't go to the bed with a heavy heart. Her heart and brain were conversing so loud that she had to write it down. She picked up her new 2013 diary and scribbled along...

20th January 2013.
00:44 hours

Right now, I don't want to tell you how good this day was. I know I am one lazy ass.
I am grateful for today.
But, my heart is heavy and I can't really conclude the reason/s. I just had a chat with him on WhatsApp. I hate to admit this but he's one person I cannot stay mad at.
He was pissing me off with every next statement of his but I still continued the chat.
It's rude to hang up on somebody, no? Besides, his opinions really matter to me.
Then why does he has to say things that hurt me??
Argghh! I want to punch him, hold his collar and ask him what does he want!!
He can't talk straight to me ever? For once, tell me things sweetly? I wonder does he even has that side?!
Oh of course he does! Haven't you seen him when he gets all protective and caring for you? 
Whatever! You please don't consider his once-in-a-lifetime-gestures an achievement!
He must be concerned and worried himself...
Stop it girl! This angel voice is irritating me all the more!
*Silence*

The anger slowly turned into anguish.

I don't know what and how much I mean to him. I don't even know why it's bothering me so much. Or that why he means this much to me. I cannot even say things that confidently as he could say about me. How do I find it out after all?

But, he has been there!
Or maybe I've always dragged him along?
Or maybe I've always lived with this illusion?

I don't know!
I don't knowwwwww!!!
All this is so irritating. I don't even know what's irritating me exactly!
And that's more irritating! Damn!!

I want to know! 
I want to know what's with me and this mystery regarding him.
I. want. to. know.

Day 2

*The 30 Day Blog Challenge*

I named my blog "Ripples of my thoughts" because.. my blog. Haha. :D

Well, I like the concept of ripples. You just slightly touch the water and it sends out beautiful and long lasting ripples till the end.
I loved to fantasize this for my thoughts as well.
Watching the ripples happen or making them happen gives a strange and subtle joy -maybe I could term it contentedness- just like you get after watching a beautiful sunset or a pretty sunflower field.
My blog has always been the same for me. Hence the name. :)

Ripples captured on a drizzly evening at the terrace.

The thing that got me blogging is my passion for words.

I always wanted to write whatever thoughts I had running on my mind.

Facebook status updates were one way to express but that time it limited the update to 420 characters, which was very less for me. Especially when I had so much to tell every single time... 

Every time I wrote a status update, Facebook asked me to cut down on the characters. That was such a hard time! 

Somewhere, squeezing the update to 420 characters meant deleting some feelings too!

And so I started with my journey of blogging.
Every time I had something amazing or unusual happening in my life, I made a silent note in my mind to preserve it through my words.
Sometimes, I couldn't write it. The other times(/memories/thoughts) have been penned down in the form of various posts on this blog. :)
 

I wrote all this in my first post Words too. But, writing it all again has kind of motivated me to write more. Perhaps, it’s true that the more you stay in touch with the purpose of a goal, the more you work towards it.
:)

And surely, for me, Boyzone gets it the best-

"It's only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away..."

Day 1

*The 30 Day Blog Challenge*

I thought a lot but couldn't come up with a good introduction. (Honest!)
So, for now, refer to my blogger profile.
 

Ten interesting facts:

1. I can tackle any situation except when I am hungry. Hunger makes me cranky.

2. I do not wear heels.

3. I am very particular about my things. Touch them without my permission, and you’ll be taken for a ride to hell. 

4. I absolutely love photographs. My whole life revolves around photographs. I don't remember things that well so I memorize them in pictures.

5. I can talk to anybody and everybody. Yes, if I am standing in a queue, I’ll break the ice and start talking to the person behind me. (The one standing ahead of me is usually never interested. I have no idea why!) I can practically start a conversation within 15 seconds.

Because, I don’t like the awkward silences. I like smiles and importantly, ease and comfort around. So I create it. Simple! And how much ever risky/stupid it sounds and seems, but I don’t hesitate to strike conversations with the co passengers, store owners, waiters and even the sabjiwalas.

6.  When I am alone and tensed and talking to myself aloud, I kind of start singing my sentences! (Okay, don’t laugh please!) 

I sing them in pattern and eventually forget about my problems. It happens subconsciously but I am sure I will draw out one song from that shit someday.

7. I believe in the philosophy that the best things in life come for free. [examples: starry nights, rains, laughter, hugs and kisses, etc.] :)

8. I multitask a lot. I can do a lot of jobs at one time efficiently. I can even talk with two people on different topics, even be angry at one and laugh at a joke with another-together. 

9. I can never give up on the words "Sorry" and "Thank you". Even if the friends get irritated.

10. I love love.

When I am at my best! 
:)

Picture credits: Amol Khade

The 30 Day Blog Challenge

I came across this on a fellow blogger's blog and since I think I have run out of topics to write about, I am starting up with this challenge. :)
And I am not taking up this challenge alone. Tanya is my partner all the way! :D
You can read her blog posts here.


The 30 Day blog Challenge

Day 1: Introduce, 10 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name and why you started blogging
Day 3: Favorite TV shows
Day 4: Your favorite books
Day 5: Your family
Day 6: 10 of your favorite things
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: About your friends
Day 10: Things you're afraid of
Day 11: Views on drugs and alcohol
Day 12: Your zodiac sign, and how it fits your personality
Day 13: Things you are OCD about
Day 14: Your favorite memory as a kid
Day 15: Top Ten Favorite Songs
Day 16: Things you want to say to 5 different people
Day 17: Things you are currently worried about
Day 18: Things you have learnt this year
Day 19: Pictures of 5 celebrities you find attractive
Day 20: Your day, in great detail
Day 21: Things you want to say to an ex
Day 22: Your worst habits
Day 23: 10 ways to win your heart
Day 24: 5 things that never fail to make you feel better
Day 25: Any other career you could pick apart from your current one
Day 26: Weird things you do when you are alone
Day 27: Someone who fascinates you and why
Day 28: Kind of people you hate
Day 29: Somethings you regret
Day 30: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days.



A special thank you note to all the people who've been waiting for my posts. I am back with a bang! :)

The baggage of Romance

I just watched this movie right now. 50 First Dates.
Okay, I know, I am very late. Don't get started on it.
But, I'm here to write something about it. [If I don't, I'll carry this heaviness for some days.]

So, the movie is about Henry Roth, a man afraid of commitment until he meets the beautiful Lucy. They hit it off and Henry think he's finally found the girl of his dreams, until he discovers that she has Goldfield's Syndrome, a short-term memory loss which makes her forget him the very next day of their first meet. (Yes, ouch!) 
















She just remembers some October date, the day it was her father's birthday. The same day she meets with an accident. It was that that she can't create any new memories after the mishap. So, every day, to keep her away from the shock, her father and brother celebrate the same rituals of the father's birthday. It then shows how this doesn't stop Henry and he meets her in a different way (even after being warned by her bro and dad to keep away from her), wins her heart from the scratch. Every single day. Henry comes up with an idea to make a video explaining to Lucy her accident and their relationship and play it every morning for her.
At the end they marry, with Lucy every morning freaking out on how she is in a stranger's home (and bed) and he calming her down with the 'Good Morning Lucy' video tape. They even have a daughter! (YES!)

I mean, wow! Such a wonderful fantasy! 

But. Fantasy. Yes. 

That's where I want to make a point. 

I am perfectly happy being single or in a relationship, but these romantic movies are so beyond perfect that what you have, feels less already.
Everything is so beautiful, so smooth and we know, will be great at the end to make a perfect 'happy ending'. They are filled with handsome heroes, beautiful heroines, loads of love, hugs, kisses, cuddles, love making scenes, picturesque landscapes, beautiful homes and so many oh-I-want-to-live-this-fairy-tale fantasies that makes you hate what you have.
It also makes you feel sad. To name the silliest reason- It makes you feel sad because the movie reminded you of all that your boyfriend doesn't do for you.


When I watched P.S. I Love You, I was dreaming continuously for 2 days around and about some If's- IF I had a life like this or IF I had a guy like Gerry or IF I will get letters like those or IF I could fight and make up like that or IF I could take a trip to Ireland like that or IF somebody knew me that well or IF I was so much in love or IF, IF and IF... It was endless. Oh not to forget, the creepy thoughts of what IF I am left alone like this or what IF I'll be so dependent on him or what IF the person that can help me with recovering from the loss then is only him or what IF, IF and IF...This was endless too. 

Sure, you could tell me- It's just a movie, Pri. What's so much fuss about? or tell me that I am thinking wayy too much. Yes I am. But then, everybody does think. Mine just lasted longer to blog about it. 

I haven't yet watched If Only or The Notebook or Remember Me (to name a few). But, isn't it a good thing? 
Romantic movies, for me, are no good idea. Melodrama, sentiments, emotions, and longing- they bring in my life all sorts of clutter and excess baggage. Which is heavy too.